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What is domestic abuse? How do you spot the signs and get the help you need?

What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse is an incident, or pattern of incidents, of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and violent behaviour, including sexual violence, between people in a relationship, and that can include family members. The abuse is used to maintain power and control in a relationship and there is no excuse for it. It is important to remember that it is not your fault and you are not alone – everyone has the right to be safe and to feel safe. Children are victims too if they see, hear, or experience the effects of abuse.

Why don’t women leave?

There are often a number of reasons that prevent a woman leaving, they can include low confidence and self-esteem; no support network after being isolated from friends and family; threats of ‘what will happen to them and the children’ if they leave; shame or embarrassment; fear or real danger of violence escalating further; and lack of financial independence. However, it’s important that instead of blaming women for ‘not leaving’ we empower them and give them the support and tools they need to leave.

How are children affected?

Although domestic abuse happens, mostly between adults, young people and children can be affected by the abuse they see and hear, and they can be hurt as part of the domestic abuse between adults. Young people may also experience abuse from their own boyfriend or girlfriend.

What help is available?

We offer a range of services and programmes that offer emotional and practical support. All our services are tailored to meet your needs, which may include: making sense of what has happened, exploring your legal options, ensuring your safety, how it can impact the family, and recognising the warning signs.

FAQs

How can I get in touch with you?

You can reach us via phone, email or text.

How do I ensure my partner doesn’t know I am contacting you?

We will discuss with you the safest means of contact. We will never share with anyone that you have made contact with us, unless you disclose something that is a safeguarding concern. We will never share information with the perpetrator.

What age do you support children in Outreach services?

4-17 years old.

What age do you support children in the Refuge?

All children in the refuge are supported, whatever their age.

Can my children attend school in the local area?

We work closely with schools and nurseries in our area, and we can help you access these.

Will the perpetrator know what my children disclose to the support worker?

We will never share information with the perpetrator, but we will need to share information with professionals if the child or young person is at risk.

Can you support us?

As a charity we rely on donations to enable us to deliver our essential services. If you would like to support our work, all donations make a huge difference to the lives of the survivors we help.

Donate today

Get in touch

Experiencing abuse? Worried about someone else? Or are you looking to support our work with fundraising or volunteering opportunities? Get in touch via email, phone or text.