I am worried about someone else - Finding Freedom from Abuse

5 signs someone might be in an abusive relationship

Sadly, it’s likely you may know someone who is experiencing abuse, and unless they have confided in you, it’s often difficult to know for sure. However, some of the more common signs below will help you recognise if a family member or friend is in an abusive relationship.

Verbal abuse

Including mocking, name calling, verbally threatening

Isolating them

Monitoring their calls, emails or social media accounts, preventing them seeing friends

Pressuring them

Disconnecting their phone or internet, sulking, lying to friends and family about them

Sexual violence

Including harassment or pressure to have sex with them when they don’t want it

Physical violence

Including pushing, pulling hair, holding them down, kicking, biting, strangling

How you can help

If you suspect a friend, colleague or family member is being subjected to domestic abuse, it may be tempting to take control and do all the work in getting them out. However, the person experiencing the abuse needs to refer themselves for help, or be referred by a professional service. Domestic abuse survivors often don’t realise that what they’re experiencing is abuse, and it can take time for them to take steps to leave the situation.

Here are 4 key ways you can help

Supporting a friend or relative who you believe may be experiencing abuse can be daunting, from knowing the ‘right way to ask’, to signposting them to safety. Just being there for your friend or family member will be a great source of support for them. It’s important to listen and let them know they are not alone. Other ways you can help them are:

1. Listen

Ask kindly but directly ‘Are you ok? Are you being harmed in some way?’. Let them talk and share their experiences when they are ready, don’t push for more information if they don’t want to discuss that yet.

2. Reassure

Let them know that nothing justifies abuse and it is never their fault. ‘I can’t imagine there is anything you would have said or done to warrant that behaviour’.

3 Provide information

Give them our contact details when they are ready for them. Alternatively you can offer your address or telephone number for them to reach us and our services if they would like this.

4. Look after yourself

Ensure you also keep yourself safe and look after yourself emotionally too.

Understanding Clare’s law

Clare’s Law, also known as the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS) is a police policy giving people the right to know if their current or ex-partner has any previous history of domestic violence or abuse.You have a right to ask the police no matter if your enquiry relates to a heterosexual or same-sex relationship, as long as you are aged 16 or older. The ‘Right to Know’ application is made by an individual who is in a relationship while a’ Right to Ask’ application can be made by a member of the public. You can apply for a disclosure request by visiting a police station, phoning 101 or contacting your local police, or by completing the online application form on the local police website.

Get in touch

Experiencing abuse? Worried about someone else? Or are you looking to support our work with fundraising or volunteering opportunities? Get in touch via email, phone or text.

It’s ok to have concerns. Here is what do do if you think someone might be experiencing abuse